Thursday, October 16, 2014
It is a masculine trait to be rough and tough. The blueprint for Manhood model proposed by David and Brannon in 1976 describes four standards of traditional American masculinity:
(1) “no sissy stuff”
The ideas is that a man does not do whatever a women does. This means, distancing self from femininity, homophobia, and avoiding emotions.
(2) “be a big wheel”
This refers to a man needing to feel he is in charge of situations. This means striving for achievement and success, and focusing on competition.
(3) “be a sturdy oak”
This calls for a need to be independent and self-reliant. Avoiding vulnerability, staying composed and in control, and being tough is what this means.
(4) “give em hell”
Being courageous and risk taker, even when it may not be in one's best interest. Acting aggressively to become dominant is the message.
The authors agreed that no single man can achieve all four levels at the same time, but portrays the most idealized dormant masculinity. These traits are constantly projected by media and are ingrained into the heads of men since childhood and creates a sense of pride.
When pride creeps into the head of husbands, they are getting ready to be doomed. Pride is the number one enemy in a household. A husband who tires to show his masculinity according to those preconceived notions is creating a hell for himself. Pride creates a sense of self reliance and creates wedge between family members.
Proverbs 11:2 ESV When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.
A pride husband starts to think that he alone is the wise guy around the house. To him, rest of his family including his wife are inexperienced and foolish. He should instead lean on God's wisdom.
Proverbs 26:12 ESV Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
A wise husband treats everyone at home with respect. He sets aside his pride and takes the input from everyone - even the ones that come from little children.
Proverbs 12:15 ESV The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.
When a wife notices her husband to be filled with pride, she at some point stops pointing it out to him because it is futile attempting to show him so. A practical woman can see pride blinding her husband.
When a husband genuinely knows that he is wrong, he should not be ashamed to say, "I am sorry" both in front of the Lord and in front of his wife. By doing so, the husband is letting go of the pride and it frees him up. At times, there are several ways a certain task could be done at home. Once in a while, do few tasks the way your wife wants them to be done. This is not a sign of weakness, rather a sure way to win her heart.
Heavenly Father, I pray for my wife to be able to experience a humble and happy environment at home. Strengthen my wife so that she is able to point out when I am acting with pride. It is so easy for her to notice, rather than me. Enable my wife to be my compass, measuring my pride at all times. Please humble me and enable me to develop a 'Christ' like attitude. May all our family members exhibit humility at all times and at all places.
Having the right right attitude makes a ton of difference at home. We should treat our wife just as equal as we are, and that equality should be evident in all our actions towards her.
Galatians 3:28 ESV There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Treating his wife equally comes naturally to a wonderful husband. He is able to see the image of his creator in his own wife.
Colossians 3:10 ESV And have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.
At times of indifference, act politely with respect and value her as God's creation. A great husband will show restraint to anger and stay calm at all times. By having a positive attitude, he will be able to shine Lord's light into his family. His wife and children will learn from him.
Philippians 2:14-15 ESV Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world,
Women are lot more practical than men, and they expect their husbands to be 'awake' and alert at all times. Rather than buying her a dozen roses, it may be lot more considerate by helping her with house chores by putting on the apron. In the midst of a non-judgmental, considerate environment, love is always in the air.
Gracious Lord, enable me and my wife to have the right positive attitude towards each other. Strengthen each one of us with self control so that we are able to overcome those negative attitudes towards each other. I pray for the ability to create an Eden like environment at home, where there is mutual respect for each other.
Monday, October 13, 2014
One of the biggest fear of a wife is whether or not she is being liked by her husband and family members. She depends on her husband for this approval. Mere words of comfort won't suffice in driving out this fear, rather actions of love can do the trick.
1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
A good husband assures his wife that he loves her. Everyday he makes it a point to say, "I love you." A great husband provides assurance that God loves her. He makes time to pray with her and treats her as his gift from heaven.
Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
The concern whether she is spending sufficient time with her children and treating them right haunts her. This is true especially when a wife is dividing her time between work and home. It leaves her in a state of confusion and can make her feel guilty. On such occasions, she will reach out to her husband to get his point of view. This can be a constant question, and should not make the husband weary. The husband can take his wife's hand and lead her towards God. May the Lord handle her fears and console her.
Isaiah 41:13 For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
One thing she may not be aware of, is the stealth nature of the devil. He prowls around every household, looking for an opportunity to wreck havoc in marriages. A wise husband with insight will see this threat and pray for her. The incident at the Garden of Eden is sufficient to learn a good lesson.
Matthew 10:28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.
Prayer and fasting is the only means to keep this One at bay.
Assure your wife that you treat her as your gift. Spend time with her in prayers and may the Lord break her fears. Comfort her and banish her doubts. Talk to her about your long term plans. A wife wants to have long lasting relationship and is always looking forward for things to do in the future - along with her husband. She becomes extremely relaxed while noticing love and senses commitment in the relationship.
Dear God, I have noticed my wife to be fearful at times. I want to approach you along with her and pray that may Your presence give my wife strength and courage today and everyday. Please make her understand that she is not alone and you are watching over her at all times. Shield her from those wicked schemes of the devil, and give her insight to realize when she is being tempted and tested. Kindly remind her that You are in control and that You will take care of all her needs. Please use me in whatever way You like, to strengthen her all the days of our lives.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Women are quite emotional and that's the way Lord created them. A wife needs to be able to share her emotional thoughts with her husband. For this reason, she needs a good friend with whom she is comfortable opening up and speaking to. It is bit hard for a husband to understand how the wife may be feeling, and what she is going through. No husband can fit in the shoes of his wife's girlfriend. However, with blessings from Lord, it is possible for a husband to be a wife's understanding friend.
Luke 11:9 So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
Being a wife's best friend leads to be her lover. It is lot easier to love a friend, and stay as best friends with the lover. Love her the way she is, with her strengths and weaknesses - life is at it's best with a best friend.
Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times.
Be bold enough to speak the truth. A true friend will speak out the truth while the entire world won't. Gain that confidence from your wife that you are truthful to her and everyone around you at all times - after all, she sees you day and night how you behave with others.
1 John 3:18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.
At first accepting the truth maybe a difficult task, and may even cause few wounds. Over the course of time, she will realize that truth tastes lot better than those sweet kisses of lies.
Proverbs 27:6 NLT Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.
A loving husband speaks to his wife about those wounds and will lead her towards God. After all, good friends lead others towards God, who can fix any broken wounds - lot better than the best surgeon.
Psalm 147:3 ESV He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
A wise husband will create an aura of Godly happiness and peace at home by simply being his wife's best friend and lover.
Talk to her about her interests, learn more about what goes on in her world. Encourage her by putting more courage into her. Celebrate her wins. Give her words of life so that she can chew upon them during the day, and stay motivated. Seek her confidence and trust. Become her friend by being a friend.
God Almighty, Provide me with a heart of understanding so that I may comprehend the emotional needs of my wife. Allow me to be a good friend to my wife. Enable me to display traits of truth at all times, so that my wife may trust completely in my friendship. I pray that my wife is receptive to truth the way it is, without worrying about those temporary hurts.