Friday, May 4, 2012

A conversation




Two men were seated next to each other on a delayed flight and wanted to strike a conversation.

After breezing through the on-flight magazine, the first man turned to the other and asked, "What do you do?" The gentleman replied: “I am a pastor of a church.”

“Oh,” said the first man quickly. “I don’t believe in this religious stuff. It’s for kids, you know, like the song ‘Jesus Loves Me This I know, for the Bible tells me so….’”

The minister politely laughed and asked the other man what he did for a living.

“I am an astronomer at the University,” said the first man.

“Oh, that stuff,” said the minister. “I thought it was just for kids, you know – ‘Twinkle, twinkle little star….’”

Church on the way

The flight from Chicago was delayed due to weather and I got home by 3:00 AM and had yummy home made dinner. On my way, there is a church I stop by for few minutes.  This church is on Paper Mill Road and it's on my way to the airport; I make it a point to swing by regardless of the weather or time.


Since the flight was delayed, I caught up on my sleep and have begun my new day. 

Happy Friday. 

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Travel to Winnipeg

I just landed into Chicago and here are the pics from my trip to Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada.

I was staying at Winnipeg Delta and here is the view from my balcony.  The first thing I could see when I opened the curtains was a beautiful church.  Next, I could see the customer building in the background.


The view of church sanctuary below

Here is the team of experts that assembled to provide 'expert opinion'. We are standing in front of a waterfall inside the office building.



Next, we posed in front of a Bison.

The brains I met at the customer site - an extremely hardworking and efficient individual.  He took the above two pictures.


I am filing these pictures under my new label - Travel.  I got a new ipad - the one I am holding in the picture above, is lot handy in terms of taking pictures. 



Pics from today's meeting

Am at the airport heading back - here is the view from my hotel balcony - the building in the background is where I was consulting - on the 9th floor. 


Oops - the rest of the pics are tilted.  Am in the airplane and we'll be leaving soon.  Will change it later once I reach home.  



The experts team.


The customer brain.

Sunday school answers


With Sunday school exams around the corner, I want to share with you few answers given on history tests and in Sunday school quizzes by children in 5th and 6th grades in Ohio. They were collected over a period of three years by two teachers. Here they go.

Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada but the commandos made it.

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female moth.

Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of Wedlock which is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

In the first Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java. The games were messier then than they show on TV now.

Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul.

The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out "Same to you, Brutus."

Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw for reasons I don't really understand. The English and French still have problems.

Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen," As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah!" and that was the end of the fighting for a long while.

It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood.Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented Cigarettes and started smoking.

Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper which was very dangerous to all his men.

The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.

Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He Wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Since then no one ever found it.

Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and also declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." He was a naturalist for sure. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's Mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation.On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.

Bethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf that he wrote loud music and became the father of rock and roll. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven
expired in 1827 and later died for this.

The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine.

The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.

Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.

Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits but I don't know why.

Charles Darwin was a naturalist. He wrote the Organ of the Species. It was very long people got upset about it and had trials to see if it was really true. He sort of said God's days were not just 24 hours but without watches who knew anyhow? I don't get it.

Madman Curie discovered radio. She was the first woman to do what she did. Other women have become scientists since her but they didn't get to find radios because they were already taken.

Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers. The other three were in the movies. Karl made speeches and started revolutions. Someone in the family had to have a job, I guess.

PS - I do not expect any of my students re-writing history other than what's in the Bible or what's been taught at class.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Final Exam Prep


Class,

Continuing our discussion on Final Exams - Now that you have text books, start reading the textbook chapter by chapter.  When you start reading, all of if will take shape - all the lectures you attended, all the stories you heard so far and all the powerpoint slides you watched will come to life.  You will feel as if you are travelling through history watching all those incidents.

About the actual exam - don't worry too much.  Based on our review of sample question paper from past, you must now have a good grip over it.  I am still going to be coaching you to cross the bridge and eliminate the fear of exam. Further, I am thinking of sending you some more notes on certain areas - may either do a recorded video clip or bulleted points.

Stay tuned till the exam and remember the 'Bible Story' that you've to narrate in your class too.

Another 10 days for the exam!!

 

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

How Eve became a reality



While talking about Eve, there are various reasons why people think God created Eve.  Here are the top 10:

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor, dentist or haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, since he didn’t have metal sheds or greenhouses, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, “It is not good for man to be alone!”

And the #1 reason why God created Eve:
1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, ran His fingers through His beard and said, “I can do better!”


Monday, April 30, 2012

Goodbye April & Welcome May

As we approach April 2012 fading away into the books of history, let's turn back and take a quick look - it was so colorful and filled with bright light.  Saw lots of flowers, colors ranging from yellow to red (part of VIBGYOR) and numerous occasions to remember and memories to cherish. Work has been keeping me busy - but hey, I enjoy every minute of it. So many activities packed into this fabulous month!! We had a prayer meeting at home and it was filled with glowing brightness.

Lord - I thank you for being able to enjoy all those you have created in this world.

Imagine being so tired after having a blast of fun - where you would come back so tired that you want to lie down on your living room floor exhausted and out of breath.  That's my condition.  Certainly look forward for the next month.

Let's welcome our next new month - May.

Here is my wishing: May the month of May be filled with wonderful experiences as well.

My goal for the month of May is to touch the lives of others and fill them with light.

.