Saturday, June 18, 2011

Just a minute more, Daddy


“Just a minute more, Daddy,” the little girl cried.
“I don’t want to go inside right now; give me one more piggy ride.”

“Just another minute, Daddy,” she said when she was ten.
“I’m not really ready to go to sleep yet, but won’t you please come tuck me in?”

“Wait a minute, Daddy,” she said when she was a teen.
“My friends don’t have a curfew. How could you be so mean?”

“I’ll talk to you soon, Dad,” she said as she left for school.
“I’ve got to get this stuff in the car; my dorm room’s going to be so cool.”

“I don’t have the time now, Dad,” she said at the end of the day.
“A project’s due, my boss is mad, and I’ve got so many bills to pay.”

“Can I call you back in an hour, Dad?” she asked as the kids went to bed.
“They’re cranky, and they’re driving me crazy. They won’t listen to a word I’ve said.”

“Just a minute more, Daddy,” she said as he closed his eyes.
“The nurse said I don’t have to go home yet. I need just a little more time.”

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Happy Fathers Day.

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Friday, June 17, 2011

Touring

With my friends here, it's time to tour places that we've never been to - Atlanta!!  We are planning to head out this afternoon to have the tourist view of Atlanta including the Aquarium, CNN, etc..

After taking some heavy dose of medication, I'm somehow managing with my 'broken back.'  Regardless, life has to go on, and we cannot afford downtime.

Let's check out Atlanta!!

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Walk a little slower


"Walk a Little slower, Daddy." said a little child so small.
I'm following in your footsteps and I don't want to fall.

Sometimes your steps are very fast, sometimes they're hard to see;
So walk a little slower Daddy, for you are leading me.

Someday when I'm all grown up, You're what I want to be.
Then I will have a little child who'll want to follow me.

And I would want to lead just right, and know that I was true;
So, walk a little slower, Daddy, for I must follow you!!

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Thursday, June 16, 2011

Bible on Fathers


“Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants ’round thy table”.
- Psalm 128:3

“A wise son makes a glad father.”
- Proverbs 10:1

“The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him.”
- Proverbs 20:7

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Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Duck hunting


A guy buys a brand new Lincoln Navigator truck for $42,500 and has $560 monthly payments. He and a friend go duck hunting in winter, and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the lake with their guns, a dog, and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready.

Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. In order to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, it's going to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill. So, out of the back of the new Navigator truck comes a stick of dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse.

Now, these two Rocket Scientists do take into consideration that they want to place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they are standing (and from the new Navigator truck), and they don't want to take the risk of slipping on the ice when they run from the lit dynamite fuse and possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast. They light the 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite as far away as they can.

Remember a couple of sentences back when I mentioned the vehicle, the guns, and the dog??

Let's talk about the dog: it's a highly trained Labrador used for RETRIEVING. Especially well trained at retrieving things thrown by the owner. You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and captures the stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice. The two men yell, scream, wave their arms and wonder what to do now. The dog, cheered on, keeps coming.

One of the guys grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 birdshot, hardly big enough to stop a Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, but continues on. Another shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinking these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes off to find cover, under the brand new Navigator truck..

The men continue to yell as they run away. The exhaust pipe on the truck is still hot, so the dog yelps and drops the dynamite under the truck, and takes off after his master.

Then --BOOM-- the truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake in a very large hole, leaving the two idiots standing there with this "I can't believe this happened" look on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED. He still had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments!!!

And I thought my day was not going well!!  I was busy all day today with my jet lagged friends.  While they were at home, I got so busy with work (unexpected phone calls etc., which I had to attend).  I was going between our living room and my desk to catch up all the gossip from the past decade.  During one of those trips, I jumped out of the couch, and said ouch.  My back got hurt - something happened like a muscle got pulled or I sprained my back again.  Either way, my back hurts and I have a ton of work left.  Can hardly sit or lie down.  No matter what, my work has to go on.

After reading the above story, I felt little better :-)

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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

A prayer for fathers


God our Father,
In your wisdom and love
You made all things.

Bless those fathers
Who have taken upon themselves,
The responsibility of parenting.
Bless those who have lost
A spouse to death or divorce
Who are parenting their children alone.

Strengthen them by your love
That they may be
And become the loving,
Caring persons they are meant to be.

Grant this through Christ our Lord.

Amen

Pet's request


A pet's request to it's owner:

My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is likely to be painful.

Give me time to understand what you want of me.

Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.

Don’t be angry with me for long and don’t lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainments. But I have only you.

Talk to me. Even if I don’t understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.

Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.

Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I have teeth that could easily crush the bones in your hand, and yet I choose not to bite you.

Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me.
Perhaps I’m not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long or my heart might be getting old or weak.

Please take care of me when I grow old. You too will grow old.

On the difficult journey, on the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can’t bear to watch. Don’t make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there. Because I love you so.

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Stuffed Toy



A father of five children had won a stuffed toy angel at the carnival. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.

“Who is the most obedient?” he asked. “Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?” he added.

Five small voices answered in unison. “Okay, dad, you get the toy angel.”

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Worth more than rubies



Remember to close the advt as soon as it comes up.


Monday, June 13, 2011

Time lapse

Ethics


ethics1

"Associate with people of good quality, if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company." - President George Washington







Sunday, June 12, 2011

Who are they?


Here is a riddle:

They do what they want.
They rarely listen to you.
They're totally unpredictable.
When you want to play, they want to be alone.
When you want to be alone, they want to play.
They expect you to cater to their every whim.
They're moody.
They leave hair everywhere.
Who are they?












Answer: Cats
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Summer classes


Classes offered at a local community college for female students:

Note: due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, class sizes will be limited to 8 participants maximum.

Class 1: Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..

Class 2: Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3: Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?
Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5: Curling Irons - Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6: How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7: Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8: Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9: I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM
Location to be determined.

Class 10: How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11: Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield. Tuesdays at 7:00 PM.
Location to be determined

Class 12: How to Shop by Yourself. -
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Upon completion of ANY of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

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Few laws

Few interesting laws:

Lerman's Law of Technology: Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money. Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.

Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

Law of the Search: The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it.
Corollary: It will not be in the last place you expect to find it.

Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.

First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing something else.

Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.

Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

Kenny's Law of Auto Repair: The part requiring the most consistent repair or replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location.

Second Law of Business Meetings: If there are two possible ways to spell a person's name, you will pick the wrong one.
Corollary - If there is only one way to spell a name, you will spell it wrong anyway.

The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

Yeager's Law: Washing machines break down only during the wash cycle. Corollary: All breakdowns occur on the plumber's day off.

Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

Quile's Consultation Law: The job that pays the most will be offered when there is no time to deliver the services.

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Dad's day sayings


My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys."
-Harmon Killebrew

He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.
-Clarence Budington Kelland

When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.
-Jewish proverb

A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be.
-Frank A. Clark

When one has not had a good father, one must create one.
-Friedrich Nietzsche