Friday, May 13, 2011

The talking frog - continued


A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." She did and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there is a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"

The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she said, "I want to be the most beautiful woman in the world."

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, and women will flock to him."

The woman replied, " That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman, and he will only have eyes for me." So, WOOOSH - she became the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world, and he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, " That's okay because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, WOOOSH - she became the richest woman in the world!

The frog asked her what she would like for her third wish. She said, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

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Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them.
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Attention female readers: Ladies, this is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers ONLY: Gentlemen, please scroll down below the images.




As long as a you are a male reader, feel free to scroll down.  

Part II

The frog understood what was going on, and gave the man a heart attack ten times milder than his wife :-)

Moral of part II: Women are not really smart, they just think they are. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

Aaa haa... Are you are a female reader and are still reading this? It only goes to show that women never listen!!!

Dog's philosophy


The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
-Anonymous

Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
-Ann Landers

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
-Will Rogers

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben Williams

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
-Josh Billings

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
-Andy Rooney

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made.
-M. Acklam

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
-Sigmund Freud

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
-Rita Rudner

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
-Robert Benchley

Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
-Franklin P. Jones

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
-James Thurber

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
-Mark Twain

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’
- Dave Barry

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
-Roger Caras

If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
-Phil Pastoret

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Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Thanks for Always Being There


The world is moving faster now;
We’re on a changing course.
But you have helped me deal with life;
You’ve been a stable force.

When I have had to follow;
New directions, you were there.
When the world was hard on me;
You always seemed to care.

When nothing held together;
Made the slightest bit of sense.
You have always helped restore;
My inner confidence.

Everyone needs someone;
Who’s reliable and true.
Through the moments I’ve endured;
I’m grateful there was you.

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Benefits of Turbulent winds


TURBULENT WINDS CAUSE THE EAGLE TO FLY HIGHER.
Life's troubles should cause the Christian to seek closer fellowship with the Lord. Troubles should cause us to fly higher.

TURBULENT WINDS GIVE THE EAGLE A LARGER VIEW.
When our lives are touched by troubles and we flee to God we begin to see the reason and result of lower living.

TURBULENT WINDS LIFT THE EAGLE ABOVE HARRASSMENT FROM OTHER BIRD OF PREY.
As we walk with the Lord it is difficult, if not impossible, for us to be harassed by the troubles or troubler of life.

TURBULENT WINDS ALLOW THE EAGLE TO USE LESS EFFORT.
We struggle the most when we live in lower spiritual altitudes. If we draw nigh to God, we will find how really simple life is meant to be.

TURBULENT WINDS ALLOW THE EAGLE TO STAY UP LONGER.
When we experience fellowship with God; His peace, comfort and love, There will be a desire to remain close to Him. When troubles come we learn immediately to stretch forth our wings and fly high into the presence of the Lord.

TURBULENT WINDS HELP THE EAGLE TO FLY FASTER.
The more we soar above the cares and troubles of life, the more effective we will be in accomplishing the work God has called every Christian to - Glorifying Him and evangelizing the world in which we live.

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Example


Dr. Stearns was preaching in Philadelphia. At the close of the service a stranger came to him and said, “I don’t like the way you spoke about the cross. I think that instead of emphasizing the death of Christ, it would be far better to preach Jesus, the Teacher and Example.”

Stearns replied, “If I presented Christ in that way, would you be willing to follow Him?”

“I certainly would,” said the stranger without hesitation.

“All right then,” said the preacher, “let’s take the first step. He did no sin. Can you follow that example and claim such for yourself?”

The man looked confused and somewhat surprised. “Why, no,” he said. “I acknowledge that I do sin.”

Stearns replied, “Then your greatest need is to have a Savior, not an example!”

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I Know Something Good About You


Wouldn’t this old world be better
If the folks we meet would say -
“I know something good about you!”
And treat us just that way?

Wouldn’t it be fine and dandy
If each handclasp, fond and true,
Carried with it this assurance -
“I know something good about you!”

Wouldn’t life be lots more happy
If the good that’s in us all
Were the only thing about us
That folks bothered to recall?

Wouldn’t life be lots more happy
If we praised the good we see?
For there’s such a lot of goodness
In the worst of you and me!

Wouldn’t it be nice to practice
That fine way of thinking, too?
You know something good about me;
I know something good about you.



Credits: Louis C. Shimon

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Today's speciality

I know it's too late, but today, May 10th was, "Clean up your room day." and now it's 10:00 PM.

Today was the day to do some spring cleaning—to clean out your closet, pick up the piles of laundry off the floor, and take out the vacuum. So that you could see the floor of your room again. Hopefully, you can turn on the music and start the cleaning process (if you are still awake and see this posting).

BTW, today was also the National Shrimp Day.

Here is an idea - if you are cleaning up your room at this hour, how about a hearty shrimp meal for a late dinner?

My apologies - should have posted this earlier in the day (got busy at work).

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Disaster relief trip

I registered myself to go serve in the disaster relief efforts.  There were two options at the church we are attending:

(a) Mission Trip, Adults: Cartersville, May 14, 2011
(b) Mission Trip, Adults: Birmingham, AL, May 15 - 19, 2011

Since I could not be away for an entire week, I chose the May 14th option to Cartersville and got confirmation.  Below is a mini video about the damage at one location in Cartersville.




A Prayer


Lord,
I pray for a man, that will be a part of my life
A man that really loves You more than everything
A man that will take me in the second place of his heart
A man that lives not for himself but for U
Face and phsysical attraction isn't important
The most important is
I want a heart that really loves and thristy of U and have a desire to be like Jesus

And he must know for whom and for what he lives
So his life isnt useless
Someone who has a wise heart
Not only a smart brain
A man that not only loves me but also respects me
A man that not only can adore me
But can warn me when I'm wrong
A man that loves me not for my beauty but for my heart
A man that can be my best friend in every time and situation
A man that makes me feel like a woman when I'm beside him

I'm not asking for a perfect man
But I ask for an imperfect man
So I can make him perfect in Your eyes.
A man that needs my support for his strength
A man that needs my prayer for his life
A man that needs my smile to cover his sadness
A man that needs my love so he could feel beloved
A man that needs me to make his life perfect

And I also ask
Make me to be a woman that can make him proud
Give me a heart that really loves You
So I could love him with Your love
Not love him with my love
Give me Your gentle spirit
So my beauty does not come from my outside but from inside
Give me Your Hands
That I always am able to pray for him
Give me Your eyes
So I could see many good things in him and not the bad ones
Give me Your mouth
That fullfil with Your words of wisdom and encourages
So I could support him every day
Give me Your lips
And I will smile at him every morning

And I want that when finally we meet
Both of us can say
How great Thou Art
That You give me someone that can make my life perfect
I know that You want us to meet at the right time
And You will make everything beautiful in Your time
Amen.


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Monday, May 9, 2011

Stages of Motherhood

4 Years Of Age - My Mommy can do anything;
8 Years Of Age - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot
12 Years Of Age -My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 Years Of Age -Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either
16 Years Of Age -Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned
18 Years Of Age -That old woman? She's way out of date
25 Years Of Age -Well, she might know a little bit about it
35 Years Of Age -Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion
45 Years Of Age -Wonder what Mom would have thought about it
65 Years Of Age -Wish, I could talk it over with Mom


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Real Mother

You are a real mother when:

You count the number of sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they are equal.

You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child's favorite toy and made him/her cry.

You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

Your child throws up and you catch it.

Someone else's kid throws up at a party and you keep eating.

You consider finger paint to be a controlled substance.

You mastered the art of placing food on a plate without anything touching.

Your child insists that you read "Once upon a Potty" out loud in the lobby of the doctor's office and you do it.

You hire a baby sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then you spend half the night talking about and checking on the kids.

You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it's the only one your child eats.

You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into unusual shapes.

You fast-forward through the scene when the hunter shoots Bambi's mother.

You obsess when your child clings to you upon parting during his first month at school, then you obsess when he skips in without looking back.

You can't bear to give away baby clothes--it's so final.

You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "Not in your good clothes."

You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.

You read that the average-five-year old asks 437 questions a day and feel proud that your kid is "above average."

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A true friend


Once when a Lion was asleep a little Mouse began running up and down upon him; this soon wakened the Lion, who placed his huge paw upon him, and opened his big jaws to swallow him.

"Pardon, O King," cried the little Mouse, "Forgive me this time, I shall never forget it: who knows but what I may be able to do you a turn some of these days?"

The Lion was so tickled at the idea of the Mouse being able to help him, that he lifted up his paw and let him go.  Some time after the Lion was caught in a trap, and the hunters who desired to carry him alive to the King, tied him to a tree while they went in search of a wagon to carry him on.  Just then the little Mouse happened to pass by, and seeing the sad plight in which the Lion was, went up to him and soon gnawed away the ropes that bound the King of the Beasts.            

"Was I not right?" said the little Mouse.

A true friend is someone who stays a friend even when things are going wrong.

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Sunday, May 8, 2011

Motherhood


"Behold children are a gift of the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward." - Psalm 127:3

Dr. Leila Denmark, a well-known Atlanta pediatrician, said, "Every animal on earth takes care of its own until they're able to take care of themselves, except us. We have brainwashed people into thinking that there's something greater out there than being a mother."

Ellen Wilson Fielding, who left her prestigious job as book editor of the Wall Street Journal to be at home full time with her son, came to see it this way: "I felt I was going to a greater thing when I left the Wall Street Journal to care for my son." She said, "For the essence of motherhood is the acceptance of God's offer to share in the creation and development of another human being. The question was not whether the job was good enough for me, but whether I was good enough for the job."

Motherhood is the toughest, most demanding, yet most important job in the world. With the many choices for women today, let's not forget that there is no calling of God more important than being a mom.

Once again, "Happy Mother's Day."


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Mother of the year - nominees






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This amazing love




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Mother's Day


Mother’s Day has the most phone calls

Mother’s Day has the most meals eaten out

Mother’s Day has the most plants/flowers

Mother’s Day has the most cards (not Christmas cards)

Mother’s Day has the most collect phone calls - oops, that’s Father’s Day!


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Moms


Kids start to develop some pretty interesting perceptions of the world at an early age. Notice the answers some second-graders gave when asked about their mothers.

Q: Why did God make mothers?
A: To help us out of there when we were getting born.

Q: What ingredients are mothers made of?
A: God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

Q: Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
A: God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

Q: What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
A: She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say "NO" to drugs and "YES" to chores?

Q: What does your mom do in her spare time?
A: Mothers don't do spare time.

Q: If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
A: I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

While they may not have it all figured out yet, they do know how important their mothers are in their lives. As these kids can tell you, motherhood is the toughest, most demanding, and important job in the world. With the many choices for women today, let's not forget that there is no calling of God more important than being a mom.

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Mothers


"Her children rise up and bless her;" - Proverbs 31:28

When Thomas Edison's intelligent and sympathetic mother learned that his teachers felt he had inferior ability, she educated him at home. He said, "My mother was the making of me. She was so true, so sure of me, that I felt I had someone to live for, someone I must not disappoint."

A mother's love and a mother's time are vitally important to the development of a child. Just think of the ways we benefit today from the investment of time on the part of Thomas Edison's mom.

British psychiatrist John Bowlby said, "The young child's hunger for his mother's love and presence is as great as his hunger for food."

Moms, you're pulled in so many different directions today. The stress can be unbelievable, but remember that nothing is more important than the investment of time in the life of your child. God's Word tells us that when a mother does this, her children rise up and call her blessed and her husband praises her, saying, "Many women have done virtuously but you exceed them all."


Happy Mother's Day!


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