Saturday, April 30, 2011

Evolution


Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree
Discussing the things that are said to be--
Said one to another: "Now listen you two
There's a certain rumor, but it can't be true'
That man descended from our noble race-
Why, the very idea; it's a disgrace.

No monkey ever deserted his wife,
Starved her babies and ruined her life.
Nor did ever a mother-monkey
Leave her babies with others to bunk,
Or pass them on from one to another
'Till they scarcely knew who was their mother.

And another thing you'll never see
A monkey building a nest around a coconut tree,
And let the coconuts go to waste,
Forbidding all other monkeys to have a taste.
Why, if I build a fence around a coconut tree,
Starvation would cause me to distribute to you.

Here's another thing that a monkey won't do:
Go out at night and get on a stew;
Or use a gun, a club, or a knife
To take another monkey's life.
Yes, Man descended, the ornery cuss!
But Brother, he didn't descend from us."



Credits: Resource, July/August, 1990

Human lifespan


Someone calculated how a typical lifespan of 70 years is spent.
Here is the estimate:

Sleep................  23 years...........32.9%
Work.................16 years........... 22.8%
TV....................  8 years...........  11.4%
Eating................  6 years............ 8.6%
Travel................  6 years............ 8.6%
Leisure.............    4.5 years..........6.5%
Illness...............   4 years............  5.7%
Dressing..............2 years............  2.8%
Religion............   0.5 years...........0.7%
Total................    70 years...........100%

Friday, April 29, 2011

Vital Signs



It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80s arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 AM. The nurse took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him..

She saw him looking at his watch and decided, since she was not busy with another patient, she would evaluate his wound. On examination, it was found well healed, so she talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, she asked him if he had another doctor’s  appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told her, "No, I need to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with my wife."

Then the nurse asked him about his wife's health.  He told her that his wife had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer’s Disease. As they both talked, the nurse asked him if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. The nurse was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?"

He smiled as he patted the nurse's hand and said, "She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is."

The nurse had to hold back tears as he left, and she had goose bumps on her arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

Life adds-up meaning when you start living for someone else than for own-self.

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Thursday, April 28, 2011

Still in the books


Certain Laws people forgot to take off the books:

In Michigan, a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.

In New York, it is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.

In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle in Connecticut, it must bounce.

To keep any of the incarcerated beasts from picking up bad habits, the town of Manville, NJ decreed that it is illegal to feed whiskey or offer cigarettes to animals at the local zoo.

If you sell hollow logs in Tennessee, you are breaking the law.

Compulsive gamblers stay out of Richmond, VA: it is even illegal to flip a coin in a restaurant to see who pays for the coffee.

Don't bother the butterflies in Pacific Grove, CA unless you have an extra $500 for the offense.

The same is true for bullfrogs and cottontails in Hayden, AZ. where disturbing them in the city limits is against the law.

Have it your way, but don't share it in OK. This state forbids a person from taking a bite out of another person's hamburger.

Need a radio on Sunday? In Spokane, WA, you can buy one on the Sabbath, but forget about purchasing a television!

In the state of New York, you need a license to use a clothesline outdoors.

If any retirees from the circus are thinking about settling down and farming in NC, they are forewarned right here and now that it is against the law in this state to use elephants to plow cotton fields!

It is illegal to take more than 2 baths a month within Boston confines.

In Calgary there is a by-law that is still on the books that requires businesses within the city to provide rails for tying up horses.

In the England it is illegal to sell most goods on a Sunday, (this law is mostly ignored), it is however legal to sell a carrot. It is also legal to sell it at any price and to give free gifts with it, such as anything else one might want to buy on a Sunday!

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Right now



We convince ourselves that life will be better once we are married, have a baby, then another. Then we get frustrated because our children are not old enough, and that all will be well when they are older. Then we are frustrated because they reach adolescence and we must deal with them. Surely we’ll be happier when they grow out of the teen years.

We tell ourselves our life will be better when our spouse gets his/her act together, when we have a nicer car, when we can take a vacation, when we finally retire.

The truth is that there is no better time to be happy than right now.

If not, then when?

Our life will always be full of challenges. It is better to admit as much and to decide to be happy in spite of it all. For the longest time, it seemed that life was about to start.

But there was always some obstacle along the way, an ordeal to get through, some work to be finished, some time to be given, a bill to be paid. Then life would start.

Understand that those obstacles are life. That point of view should help us see that there isn’t any road to happiness. Happiness IS the road. So, enjoy every moment.

Stop waiting for school to end, for a return to school, to lose ten pounds, to gain ten ounds, for work to begin, to get married, for Friday evening, for Sunday morning, waiting for a new car, for your mortgage to be paid off, for spring, for summer, for fall, for winter, for the first or the fifteenth of the month, for your song to be played on the radio, to die, to be reborn, etc., before deciding to be happy.

Happiness is a voyage, not a destination. There is no better time to be happy than NOW!

Live and enjoy the moment.

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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Haircut


A barber asked his customer how he wanted his hair cut.

"Make it short," the customer replied, "with a bare patch above my left ear, but longer on the right side so that it covers my right ear. I also want my left sideburn above my left ear and the right sideburn below my right ear."

The barber looked puzzled and said, "I don't think I can do that."

The customer replied, "I don't know why not--that's the way you cut it the last time I was here!"

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A Place for Me


There is a special place in life,
That needs my humble skill,
A certain Job I'm meant to do,
Which no one else can fulfill.

The time will be demanding,
And the pay is not too good
And yet I wouldn't change it
for a moment -- even if I could.

There is a special place in life,
A Goal I must attain,
A dream that I must follow,
Because I won't be back again.
There is a mark that I must leave,
However small it seems to be,
A legacy of love for those
Who follow after me.

There is a special place in life,
That only I may share,
A little path that bears my name,
Awaiting me somewhere.
There is a hand that I must hold,
A word that I must say,
A smile that I must give,
For there are tears to blow away.

There is a special place in life
That I was meant to fill,
A sunny spot where flowers grow,
Upon a windy hill.
There's always a tomorrow and the best is yet to be,
And somewhere in this world,
I know there is a place for me!


Author unknown
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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Familiar?




Pray in the Spirit


When you don’t know what to pray
Don’t let that hold you back
Try praying in the Spirit
And the job shall get done

In words you do not know yourself
In a different tongue
As the spirit gives you utterance
The Perfect Prayer shall come

The Spirit, He will intercede
On your behalf
With groaning too deep for words
Understood, by God, our Father

For the Father knows his every thought
Whether audible or not
So you have no cause to worry
Just pray and it shall be done to perfection
When you pray in the Spirit!!!



Credits: Janet Mullaly

The Holy Spirit - my helper



Here is an article I came across about the Holy Spirit.

In the teaching on the promise of the Holy Spirit, the title given to the Holy Spirit is Advocate in John 14:15 and in verse 26. The word ‘Advocate’ here can also be translated as ‘Helper’. It is clear that on our own we cannot live the Christian life and so with humble hearts we must turn to the Holy Spirit.

“Holy Spirit” is the proper name of one whom we adore and glorify with the Father and the Son. The Holy Spirit can be grieved (Eph 4:30, Is 63:10a) and opposed (Acts 7:51). Only a person can be grieved or opposed. Which means the Holy Spirit is a person and is the third person of the most blessed Trinity.

How does The Holy Spirit help us?

The Holy Spirit reveals Jesus to us – We know that Jesus is the way, the ‘truth’, and the life (Jn. 14:6) and the Holy Spirit will guide us into all the ‘truth’ (Jn. 16:13a). Which means the Holy Spirit will lead and guide us to Jesus.

Lordship of Jesus – There are many people who have read about Jesus Christ and comment that He was a good man or a great teacher but will not accept Him as their Lord. Why? It is because they do not have the Holy Spirit. No one can say ‘Jesus is Lord’ except by the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 12:3 and Jn 15:26).  This knowledge of faith is possible only in the Holy Spirit: to be in touch with Christ, we must first have been touched by the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit convicts us of sin (Jn 16:8) – As an example, for many people taking or giving a bribe is fine and there is nothing wrong about it. For many there is nothing wrong in aborting helpless children in the mother’s womb. But for those of us who are in union with Christ, we know that it is not only wrong but a sin. How do we know that it’s a sin, because the Holy Spirit has convicted us deep within our being. The Holy Spirit is given as a gift at the beginning of our Christian life to help us overcome sin in our life.

The Love of God – We know that God is love (1 Jn 4:8) and God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us (Rom 5:5). Unless our hearts are filled with the love of God through the Holy Spirit, we shall not be able to love our neighbour as ourselves, we shall not be able to pray for those who persecute us and we shall not be able to reconcile with those who have hurt us.

Strengthens our inner being – For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth takes its name. I pray that, according to the riches of his glory, he may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through his Spirit (Eph 3:14-16).

Helps us to pray – Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words (Romans 8:26). The Holy Spirit, the artisan of God’s works, is the master of prayer. It is good to ask the Holy Spirit for help every time we begin our personal prayer.

Receive Power – You will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you (Acts 1:8a). This is a promise for you and me too. The apostles lived with Jesus for three years, day and night, and yet at the end of that time, something important was still missing. They hadn’t been baptized in the Holy Spirit. After the Pentecost experience which we read in Acts 2:1-13, we see the disciples filled with boldness to be witnesses. We see Peter who denied Christ three times now boldly witnessing.

This is the power to overcome sin in our life, this is the power to be a witness in our world of today by living out the gospel values in our families, work places and colleges. This is the power to overcome fear in our lives, this is the power to evangelize as the church teaches, and this is the power which will give us strength to do the right thing in the most trying situation of our life.

There are many more ways in which the Spirit helps us, the above mentioned are only a few points. In moments of loneliness and sadness, in moments where we face huge mountains but don’t know what to do or where to turn to, let us turn to the Holy Spirit. Jesus makes it clear that the Spirit is a gift for the asking (John 7:37-39).


Credits: Georgy

Monday, April 25, 2011

Qualification

A young man applied for a job as a farmhand.  When asked for his qualifications, he said, "I can sleep when the wind blows."

This puzzled the farmer, but he took a liking to the young man and hired him.  A few days later, the farmer and his wife were awakened in the night by a violent storm.  They quickly began to check things out to see if all was secure.  They found that the shutters of the farmhouse had been securely fastened.  A good supply of logs had been set next to the fireplace.  The farm implements had been placed in the storage shed, safe from the elements.  The tractor had been moved into the garage.  The barn had been properly locked.  All was well.  Even the animals were calm.

It was then that the farmer grasped the meaning of the young man's words, "I can sleep when the wind blows."

Because the farmhand had performed his work loyally and faithfully when the skies were clear, he was prepared for the storm when it broke. Consequently, when the wind blew, he had no fear.  He was able to sleep in peace.

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Sunday, April 24, 2011

Happy Easter


The miracle that Jesus resurrected from the dead is the key miracle in the Bible.  No other miracle is as important as the Easter message. If we do not believe in this single miracle, then whatever is written in the Bible is irrelevant and all other miracles are meaningless.

As Christians, we should firmly believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross and on the third day, he rose from the dead.  We have a living God.

Happy Easter.  

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Convert


Some of the friends of a muslim who became christian in Africa asked him, "Why have you become a Christian?"

The new Christian answered, "Well, its like this. Suppose you were going down the road and suddenly the road forked in two directions, and you didn't know which way to go, and there at the fork in the road were two men, one dead and one alive - which one would you ask which way to go?"

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