Saturday, April 9, 2011

One liners

Interesting one liners:

Be Fishers of Men.... You catch 'em, He'll clean 'em.

A family altar can alter a family.

A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.

Don't put a question mark where God put a period.

Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.

Exercise daily. Walk with the Lord!

Forbidden fruits create many jams.

Give God what's right, not what's left!

Give Satan an inch and he'll be a ruler.

God doesn't call the qualified; He qualifies the called.

God grades on the cross, not the curve.

God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts."

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

Having truth decay? Brush up on your Bible!

He who angers you, controls you!

He who is good at making excuses is seldom good for anything else.

He who kneels before God can stand before anyone!

Kindness is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.

Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory capacity.

Never give the devil a ride! He will always want to drive!

Nothing ruins the truth like stretching it.

Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

"Pray" is a four letter word that you can say anywhere.

Prayer - Don't give God instructions - just report for duty!

The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.

This Church is "Prayer Conditioned!"

To be almost saved is to be totally lost.

WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning!

Watch your step carefully! Everyone else does!

We don't change the message; the message changes us.

We set the sail; God makes the wind.

We're too blessed to be depressed.

Wisdom has two parts: 1) Having a lot to say. 2) Not saying it.

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Perfume


Medical terms defined

A student interested in pursing medicine as a career appeared for the medical entrance exam.  Here is how he defined certain medical terms:


Antibody: against everyone

Artery: the study of fine paintings

Bacteria: back door to a cafeteria

Benign: what you have after eight

Cardiology: advance study of poker playing

Cat Scan: searching for lost kitty

Chronic: neck of a crow

Coma: Punctuation mark

Cyst: short of Sister

Diagnosis: person with slanted nose

Dislocation: in this place

Duodenum: couple in jeans

Enema: not a friend

False Labor: pretending to work

Gallbladder: bladder in a girl

Hernia: she is close by

Hymen: greeting to several males

Labor Pain: hurt at work

Lactose: person without digits on

Liposuction: a French Kiss

Lymph : walk unsteadily

Menopause: I no wait

Microbes: small dressing gowns

Obesity: city of Obe

Pacemaker: winner of Nobel Peace Prize

Protein: a favour of teens

Pulse: grain

Pus: small cat

Red Blood Count: Dracula

Rupture: ecstasy

Secretion: hiding anything

Serum: Sailors drink

Subcutaneous: not cute enough

Suture: Gujarati word for "what do you want"

Tablet: small table

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Friday, April 8, 2011

If


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream and not make dreams your master;
If you can think and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools.

Credits: Rudyard Kipling