Saturday, February 19, 2011

A place called home


Twins, a sister and brother were talking to each other in the womb. The little sister said to the little brother, "I believe that there is life after birth!"

Her brother protested, "No, no, this is all there is. This is a dark and cozy place, and we have nothing else to do but to cling on to the cord that feeds us."

But the little girl insisted, "There must be something more than this dark place, there must be something else where there is light and freedom to move."

Still she could not convince her twin brother. Then, after some silence, she said hesitantly, "I have something else to say, and I am afraid you won’t believe that either, but I think there is a mother!"

Her little brother now became furious, "A mother, a mother, what are you talking about? I have never seen a mother and neither have you. Who put that idea in your head? As I told you, this place is all we have so let’s be content."

The little sister finally said, "Don’t you feel this pressure sometimes? Its really unpleasant and sometimes even painful."

"Yes," he answered, "what’s special about that?"

"Well," the sister said, "I think this pressure is there to get us ready for another place called home, much more beautiful than this, where we will see our mother face to face! Don’t you think that’s exciting!"

Friday, February 18, 2011

Inspirational thoughts


Here are few inspirational thoughts by Mother Theresa:

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, there may be jealousy;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Beer Prayer

Simplified Tax form

In 2005, IRS under the guidance of President Bush introduced this simplified tax form.
[]

.

Do I have to...


Below is an article I came across titled, 'Do I Have to Love Other Christians?'.  I am posting this in lieu of recent developments at our parish.

God commands us to love our brethren.  Loving my brother is not an option, nor is it a command that I can follow selectively.  Although we realize that some brethren’s personalities clash with ours, or they have habits or idiosyncrasies that bother us, we must work harder to overcome these minor things to be brethren.

Some have the attitude, “I have to love him but that doesn’t mean that I have to like him.”  Perhaps they wish to reconcile the command to love our brethren and the reality that some brethren can be obnoxious, overbearing, insensitive, and annoying.  How can we truly have love for our brethren if we do not make significant attempts to overcome the natural reaction to avoid these people?  Will we show true hospitality, help, love, and concern for someone we love but whom we make conscious efforts to avoid?  A better approach is to look past character traits to the soul within.  Perhaps the gentle rebuke made in sincere love could chisel away some undesirable characteristics to make the brother lovable to others.  Certainly, there are people who grate on our nerves but we probably grate on the nerves of others as well.

Paul addresses the need to make a special effort to love the unlovable in Colossians 3:13: “bear with one another.”  The word “bear” here is used elsewhere of God suffering or bearing with us (Matthew 17:17, Mark 9:19).  In 2 Corinthians 11:1,19, the same word is used in a sense that we might translate as put up with.  There is a great need for us to suffer with, forbear, put up with, and bear with one another.  We come from different backgrounds, geographical areas, financial situations, educational levels, etc.  We are a dissimilar people unified into one body under one head.  It is essential that we bear with one another and not willfully withhold our full love for some brethren because we do not “like” them.  “What do you do more than others?  Even the tax collectors love those who love them,” Matthew 5:46.


Credits: Rhodes Davis

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

History by 6th graders


Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java.

Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.

Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."

It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

Johann Bach wrote a great many musical ompositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.

Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steam-boat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie is covered the radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assassinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor This ruined Booth's career.

----
PS: If you are a fast reader, you probably did not pay attention to the spelling.  Observing some of the spellings are even humorous.


.

New Concept

Here is a new concept of a public restroom.  This is how it looks from the outside.



Once inside, it looks like this:


It's made entirely of one-way glass! No one can see you from the outside, but when you are inside it's like sitting in a clear glass box!



Nature Sayings

How strange that Nature does not knock, and yet does not intrude!
- Emily Dickinson

I’ve always regarded nature as the clothing of God .

God writes the gospel not in the Bible alone, but on trees and flowers and clouds and stars.
- Martin Luther

Everything in Nature contains all the powers of Nature. Everything is made of one hidden stuff.
- Anonymous

Nature is just enough; but men and women must comprehend and accept her suggestions.

Nature is not only all that is visible to the eye — it also includes the inner pictures of the soul.

I believe that there is a subtle magnetism in Nature, which, if we unconsciously yield to it, will direct us aright.
- Henry David

To sit in the shade on a fine day and look upon verdure is the most perfect refreshment.
- Jane Austen

In all things of nature there is something of the marvelous.

The goal of life is living in agreement with nature.

When Nature has work to be done, she creates a genius to do it.

The sky is the daily bread of the eyes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nature is my medicine.
- Sara Moss

Watching clouds roll by
on a sunny day
Who needs church?
Nature is divine.
- Carrie Latet

I can enjoy society in a room; but out of doors, nature is company enough for me.

Drinking nature is an unquenchable thirst.
- Berri Clove

Nature is a writer’s best friend.
- Agave Powers

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Joy in looking and comprehending is nature’s most beautiful gift.

.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

You never know


You never know when someone
might catch a dream from you.
Or something you say may open up the windows
of a mind that seeks light;
The way you live may not matter at all,
But you never know, it might.

And just in case it could be
that another's life, through you,
might possibly change for the better
with a better and brighter view,
it seems it might be worth a try
at pointing the way to the right;
Of course, it may not matter at all,
but then again, it might.

.

Farmer Jake


Farmer Jake had a nagging wife who made his life miserable.  The only real peace that he got was when he was out in the field plowing.

One day when he was out in the field, Jake's wife brought his lunch to him. Then she stayed while he quietly ate and berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Jake's old mule kicked up his back legs, striking the wife in the head, killing her instantly.

At the wake, Jake's minister noticed that when the women offered their sympathy to Jake he would nod his head up and down. But when the men came up and spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side.

When the wake was over and all the mourners had left, the minister approached Jake and asked, "Why was it that you nodded your head up and down to all the women and shook your head from side to side to all the men?"

"Well," Jake replied, "The women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty, so I agreed by nodding my head up and down." The men all asked, "Is that mule for sale!?"

.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine's Day Gift buying

Happy Valentine's Day


How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being an ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,–I love thee with the Breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!–and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

- Elizabeth Barret


Happy Valentine's Day.

.

Who was Valentine?


The history of Valentine’s Day — and its patron saint — is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine’s Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition.

So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. One legend contends that Valentine was a pastor who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men – his crop of potential soldiers.

Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.

According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first ‘valentine’ greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl — who may have been his jailor’s daughter — who visited him during his confinement. Before his death he wrote her a letter, which he signed ‘From your Valentine,’ an expression that is still in use today.

Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It’s no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.

.