Saturday, September 18, 2010

The telescope


The Bible is like a telescope.
If a man looks through his telescope,
then he sees the worlds beyond;
but if he looks at his telescope,
then he does not see anything but that.

The Bible is a thing to be looked through,
to see that which is beyond;
but most people only look at it;
and so they see only the dead letters.


Credits: Phillips Brooks

Picnic


We're going to have a picnic.
We're looking forward to the fun.
We'll toss the ball around a bit
While we enjoy the shining sun.

We'll spread a blanket on the ground
Then we'll prepare to eat our food.
Relaxing with our family
Will make us feel so very good.

We'll rest beneath a shady tree
And may close our eyes to the sun.
Or we may read for a while
Before we start to have more fun.

We'll take a dip into the lake-
Enjoy the sunshine on our back.
And when the picnic is over
Peace and contentment we won't lack.

---
Have fun, and enjoy the picnic with sunshine, friends and families.

.

About Angels

It snows because angels are having pillow fights.

When a raindrop falls on your nose, you've just been kissed by an angel.

It thunders when the angels are bowling.

According to an old American folk saying, babies smile in their sleep, when they are listening to the voices of angels.

There is an old saying that says...you get freckles from angel kisses

To love for the sake of being loved is human, but to love for the sake of loving is angelic.

Angels don't blow their own horns, it makes living too noisy.

Angels don't want to impress you, just bless you.

Angels always know where to find you...even when you are hiding.

Dolphins are considered to be angels of the sea...

August 22 is "Be an Angel Day." On that day, people do special and anonymous favors for one another.

October 2 is the "Feast day of Guardian Angels." It's a time to thank your angel for all the help given to you.

Guardian Angels never take vacations.

A Strawberry mark, is called an Angel Kiss

An Angel is someone you are always happy to bump into.

.

Recipe for friendship


Fold two hands together,
And express a dash of sorrow,
Marinate it overnight,
And work on it tomorrow.

Chop one grudge in tiny pieces,
Add several cups of love,
Dredge with a large sized smile
Mix with the ingredients above.

Dissolve the hate within you,
By doing a good deed,
Cut in and help your friend,
If he should be in need.

Stir in laughter, love, and kindness
From the heart it has to come,
Toss with genuine forgiveness
And give your neighbor some.

The amount of people served,
Will depend on you,
It can serve the whole wide world,
If you really want it to.

.

Whose Child is this?


“Whose child is this?” I asked one day
Seeing a little one out to play

“Mine,” said the parent with a tender smile
Mine to keep a little while
To bathe his hands and comb his hair
To tell him what he is to wear
To prepare him that he may always be good
And each day do the things he should.”

“Whose child is this?” I asked again
As the door opened and someone came in

“Mine,” said the teacher with the same tender smile
He’ll tell you.”

“Mine, to keep just for a little while
To teach him how to be gentle and kind
To train and direct his dear little mind
To help him live by every rule
And get the best he can from Sunday School.”

“Whose child is this?” I asked once more
Just as the little one entered the door.

“Ours,” said the parent and the teacher as they smiled
And each took the hand of the little child
“Ours to love and train together
Ours this blessed task forever.”

.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Kind helpers

This is the way we pick up our toys,
pick up our toys, pick up our toys.
This is the way we pick up our toys,
when we are kind helpers.

This is the way we walk quietly,
walk quietly, walk quietly.
This is the way we walk quietly,
when we are kind helpers.

This is the way we open the door,
open the door, open the door.
This is the way we open the door,
when we are kind helpers.

This is the way we tie our own shoes,
tie our own shoes, tie our own shoes.
This is the way we tie our own shoes,
when we are kind helpers.

This is the way we set the table,
set the table, set the table.
This the way we set the table,
when we are kind helpers.

This is the way we go right to bed,
go right to bed, go right to bed.
This is the way we go right to bed,
when we are kind helpers.

.

I love to go to Sunday school

I love to go to Sunday School
To learn the Word of God.
I want His truth my life to rule
And light each path I trod.

I love to go to Sunday School
And learn to love Christ more;
To make myself a better tool,
As we God's Word explore.

I love to hear the Bible read,
And hear its stories told.
I love to know what God has said,
For it my life will mold.

I love to memorize the Word,
And hide God's truth within.
There's nothing I have ever heard
Like it to keep from sin.

I love to sing the songs of praise,
And clap my hands with joy.
It makes Sundays the best of days,
And all my doubts destroy.

I love my Christian family
Brothers, sisters in Christ.
I hate to be an absentee
For such love can't be priced.

So listen to this song I sing,
And come with me my friend.
We'll follow Christ our living King,
And praise Him without end.

.
Credits: Glenn Pease

Christ is


To the ARTIST - He is the One Altogether Lovely.

To the ARCHITECT - He is the Chief Corner Stone.

To the BAKER - He is the Living Bread.

To the BANKER - He is the Hidden Treasure.

To the BIOLOGIST - He is the Life.

To the BUILDER - He is the Sure Foundation.

To the CARPENTER - He is the Door.

To the DOCTOR - He is the Great Physician.

To the EDUCATOR - He is the Great Teacher.

To the ENGINEER - He is the New and Living Way.

To the FLORIST - He is the Rose of Sharon and the Lily of the Valley.

To the GEOLOGIST - He is the Rock of Ages.

To the HORTICULTURIST - He is the True Vine.

To the JUDGE - He is the Righteous Judge, Judge of All Men.

To the JEWELER - He is the Pearl of Great Price.

To the LAWYER - He is the Counselor, the Lawgiver, the Advocate.

To the NEWSPAPER - He is the Good Tidings of Great Joy.

To the OCULIST - He is the Light of the Eyes.

To the PHILANTHROPIST - He is the Unspeakable Gift.

To the PHILOSOPHER - He is the Wisdom of God.

To the PREACHER - He is the Word of God.

To the SCULPTOR - He is the Living Stone.

To the SERVANT - He is the Good Master.

To the STATESMAN - He is the Desire of All Nations.

To the STUDENT - He is the Incarnate Truth.

To the THEOLOGIAN - He is the Author and Finisher of our Faith.

To the TOILER - He is the Giver of Rest.

To the SINNER - He is the Lamb of God that taketh away the sins of the World.

To the CHRISTIAN - He is the Son of the Living God, the Savior, the Redeemer and the Lord.

.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Sunday School Schedule

The schedule for Sunday school (2010 -11) is now available.

Click here to download a pdf copy.

Highlights:
Nov 21 - Mid year exam
Dec 19 - Christmas Program
Dec 26 - Holiday
Mar 19 - Talent Competition
Apr 10 - Symposium
May 8 - Final Exam


.

IE 9 is available

For those of you who keep your web browsers updated, Microsoft just released the newest version of Internet Explorer - IE 9.0 Beta.  They claim it to be faster, and tightly integrated into their search engine - Bing.

IE is currently the market leader, in the browser space with 51% users.  However, it's loosing it's market share to Mozilla's Firefox and Google's Chrome.  Market share for other browsers are Firefox 31%, Chrome 11%, Safari 4% and Opera 2%.

Personally, I use Chrome, and would recommend using either Firefox or Chrome due to various reasons.

.

Suffering


Once a man goes to the rabbi and complains, "Life is unbearable. There are nine of us living in one room. What can I do?"

The rabbi answers, "Take your goat into the room with you."

The man in incredulous, but the rabbi insists. "Do as I say and come back in a week."

A week later the man comes back looking more distraught than before. "We cannot stand it," he tells the rabbi. "The goat is filthy."

The rabbi then tells him, "Go home and let the goat out. And come back in a week."

A radiant man returns to the rabbi a week later, exclaiming, "Life is beautiful. We enjoy every minute of it now that there's no goat - only the nine of us."

-----------



Not fair!!
The story does not talk anything about the goat!
I am positive, the goat was happy to get out of that room with 9 people.
:-)

.

Words at play


If you love words like me, then you too are a lexophilia.  The term lexophilia derives from two Greek words:
(1) Lexis, a derivative of the Greek logos meaning "word," and
(2) Philia, meaning "friendship" - we studied this word at Sunday school, while learning about Love.

Now, here is a list of lexophiles for you to enjoy.  The list is long, and hence you may want to take couple of breaks in between.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Acupuncture – a jab well done.

The Police were called to a daycare where a 3 year old was resisting a rest.

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

A bicycle moves slowly because it is two-tired.

When she saw her strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.

A pair of jumper cables were served in the local pub only after they promised not to start anything.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

A backward poet writes inverse.

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

When you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

A chicken crossing the road – poultry in motion.

The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

When the TV repairman got married, the reception was excellent.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

A woman’s swoon may be more feint than faint.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I’ll show you A-flat miner.

A short fortune teller who escaped from prison – a small medium at large.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France – resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

A calendar’s days are numbered.

Horses are alone in their class because they are always out standing in their fields.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
------ Break Time-----
 Cross-eyed teacher during early age.  

There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils.

We will never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

To some – marriage is a word … to others – a sentence.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Considering the evidence, the jury concluded that the accused was not too bright.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden should be charged with stalking.

The grocery store clerk said you had to go to Office Depot to buy staples.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

There was a slight paws before the dog ran off.

A hangover is a wrath of grapes.

When the buyer failed to make payment on the Golden dog he bought, the breeder had to retriever.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

Practice safe eating – always use condiments.

In a democracy, it’s your vote that counts – in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.

She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

A baker backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

Shotgun wedding – a case of wife or death.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.


-------Break Time-----
Starting to dance cheek to cheek

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor-play.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Atheists don’t solve exponential equations because they don’t believe in higher powers.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, but it let out a little whine.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his aunt telephoned to ask how he
was, the nurse said, ‘No change yet.’

Don’t join dangerous cults – practice safe sects.

When two egoists meet, it’s an I for an I.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One said to the other, ‘you stay here, I’ll go on a head.’

It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle – he just didn’t have the balls to do it.

A sing on the lawn of a drug rehab center said – “keep of the grass.”

In school, the class trapeze artist with an attitude was always suspended.

CrossDresser – a guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary.

Air pollution is a mist-demeanor.

Six is afraid of Seven because Seven Eight Nine.

For a while, Houdini used a lot of trap doors in his act, but he was just going through a stage.

Editing is a re-wording activity.

Two atoms are walking down the street and one says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

Reading while sun-bathing makes you well-red.

A lot of money is tainted – ‘taint yours and ‘taint mine

A prisoner’s favorite punctuation mark is the period because it marks the end of his sentence.

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase ‘fire at will’.

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Let’s talk about rights and lefts. You were right so I left.

The poor guy fell into a glass grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself.

Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of defeat.

I’ve been to the dentist several times so I know the drill.

I get my large circumference from too much pi.

Women who wear $200.00 perfume obviously are known to have no common scents.

To many girls the word ‘marriage’ has a nice ring to it.

He dropped a computer on his toes and had megahertz.

.

Wise Sayings

“Automatic” simply means that you can’t repair it yourself. - Mary H. Waldrip

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once. - Albert Einstein

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut. - Unknown

We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty. - Douglas Adams

A Balrog! And I am already weary! - Gandalf Grayhame

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. - Corrie Ten Boom

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half-shut afterwards. - Benjamin Franklin

If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough. - Mario Andretti

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. - Oscar Wilde

A committee is twelve men doing the work of one. - John F. Kennedy

I doubt whether the world holds for anyone a more soul-stirring surprise than the first adventure with ice-cream. - Heywood Broun

It is important to our friends that we are unreservedly frank with them, and important to our friendship that we are not. - Euripides

.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Women - about men


Here is a report about men (obviously written by a woman).

Men's brains are like the prison system - not enough cells per man.

Men are like place mats - they only show up when there's food on the table.

Men are like mascara - they usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like bike helmets - handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.

Men are like parking spots - all the good ones are taken.

Men are like lava lamps - fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like bank accounts - Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

Men are like high heels - they're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home - he probably lies about other things too.

A woman's work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do.

Husbands are like children - they're fine if they're someone else's.

Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.

Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men - A Woman.

----
My comments: - No comments!!

.

Qualification


Once there was a cottage in a little country village. In the cottage there lived a family of four: father, mother, and two small children. One evening the cottage caught on fire. In a few seconds the thatched roof and the wooden timbers were ablaze. There was no fire engine in this remote spot and the villagers stood around helpless.

Suddenly a young man, who had just arrived upon the scene cried out, "What, can nothing be done to save them?"

When no one responded he jumped through the flames and darted into the house. A moment later he emerged bearing a little child under each arm. He had carefully protected them from the flames by hiding them under his coat but he himself was badly burned.

The parents of the two children died in the fire. There was much sympathy for the two children in the town and several people wanted to adopt them. When the judge arrived to decide who would adopt the children there were two who petitioned the court.

The first was a sheriff of the village. He had money, position, and a fine house to offer the children. The second petitioner was the man who had rescued the children from the flames.

When the judge asked him what right he had to ask the court for the children he did not answer with words. Instead he held up his hands that had been badly burned and scarred in their recuse and let them do his arguing for him.

When the devil accuses us before God and asks what right we poor sinners have to be adopted into God's family, Lord Jesus Christ doesn't answer with words.  Instead, Jesus holds up the wounds he received on his way to the cross.

.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

God's Plus Sign


A crowd of university students were coming home from an evening of so-called pleasure. Their drunken leader noticed on the steeple of a church a cross, illuminated by the moonlight.

Suddenly he shouted, "Ye mathematicians, look at God's plus sign!"

One of those students could not sleep that night. Toward morning he stepped into the leader's room, and said that the vision of the cross as God's plus sign-the symbol of His abundant love for mankind-had made him decide to uphold that Cross.

Seven others of those university men followed in his steps.

.

Discovery of the Holy Cross


Today marks the anniversary of the discovery of the True Cross of Jesus Christ by St. Helena.  Our Church calls it 'The Feast of the Holy Cross' or 'Sleeba Perunnal'.

I've been designated to speak few words at church next Sunday, about this auspicious occasion.  Preparations are underway, and I'll do my best to cover this topic in more breadth, than what we've discussed in class.

.

The Cross Room


The young man was at the end of his rope.
Seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer.
"Lord, I can't go on," he said.
"I have too heavy a cross to bear."

The Lord replied,
"My son, if you can't bear it's weight,
just place your cross inside this room.
Then open another door and pick any cross you wish."

The man was filled with relief.
"Thank you, Lord,"
he sighed, and did as he was told.
As he looked around the room he saw many different crosses;

some so large the tops were not visible.
Then he spotted a tiny cross leaning against a far wall.
"I'd like that one, Lord,"
he whispered. And the Lord replied,
"My son, that's the cross you brought in."

.

Monday, September 13, 2010

A raise


An Employee went to see his boss to ask for a raise.  The following conversation takes place:

Employee: Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?

Boss: Sure, come on in. What can I do for you?

Employee: Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over ten years.

Boss: Yes.

Employee: I won't beat around the bush. Sir, I would like a raise. I currently have four companies after me and so I decided to talk to you first.

Boss: A raise? I would love to give you a raise, but this is just not the right time.

Employee: I understand your position, and I know that the current economic downturn has had a negative impact on sales, but you must also take into consideration my hard work, pro-activeness and loyalty to this company for over a decade.

Boss: Taking into account these factors, and considering I don't want to start a brain drain, I'm willing to offer you a ten percent raise and an extra five days of vacation time. How does that sound?

Employee: Great! It's a deal! Thank you, sir!

Boss: Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies were after you?  I have to keep my resume ready in case those four companies come after me.

Employee: Oh, the Electric Company, Gas Company, Water Company and the Mortgage Company!


Image credits: Super Stock

Tug of war

Life can seem ungrateful and not always kind.
Life can pull at your heartstrings and play with your mind.
Life can be blissful and happy and free.
Life can put beauty in the things that you see.
Life can place challenges right at your feet.
Life can make good of the hardships we meet.
Life can overwhelm you and make your head spin.
Life can reward those determined to win.
Life can be hurtful and not always fair.
Life can surround you with people who care.
Life clearly does offer its ups and its downs.
Life's days can bring you both smiles and frowns.
Life teaches us to take the good with the bad.
Life is a mixture of happy and sad.

SO...

Take the life that you have and give it your best.
Think positive be happy let God do the rest.
Take the challenges that life has laid at your feet.
Take pride and be thankful for each one you meet.
To yourself give forgiveness if you stumble and fall.
Take each day that is dealt you and give it your all..
Take the love that you're given and return it with care.
Have faith that when needed it will always be there.
Take time to find the beauty in the things that you see.
Take life's simple pleasures let them set your heart free.
The idea here is simply to even the score.
As you are met and faced with Life's Tug of War.

.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Started too early

A physician saw a man one day who was terribly afflicted with rheumatism. The young doctor felt that, if he could cure him, it would enhance his fame. He insisted that the rheumatic, who was terribly drawn and bent, come to his office for treatment.

The sick man was very poor and insisted that he could not come, as he had no money with which to pay the bill. But the doctor informed him that there would be no bill, that he could help the man, and that after he was cured he could help the doctor.

So he came and took a treatment and, although there were no visible results, he started out immediately telling of the wonderful doctor.

The doctor heard what he was doing and remonstrated with him, saying, "Now, I know you mean well, but you have started too soon. In your present condition you will hinder me. You must wait till they can see a change."

Moral: Don't arrive into conclusions without seeing the entire picture.