Saturday, August 14, 2010

Aug 15

August 15, 2010 is India's 64th Independence day.  May you soar high in the realm of freedom.  I wish a happy independence day to all those who are Indians at heart!!

On Aug 15th, the lent related to the Ascension of St. Mary comes to an end.
 
Ah - ha!! Sunday school re-opens tomorrow. Are you ready to go back to Sunday school to learn new stories, enrich your knowledge, gather additional wisdom, participate in fun events, and grow spiritually? Wish you another exciting year of Sunday school. Listen to your dedicated teachers and follow their instructions.  Regardless of who the teacher is, have an open mind to receive and learn new things. Remember - one year will go by pretty soon, just like last year; hang in there.

.

Cool definitions

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water-power .

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says midway "See I am not injured yet."

Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Software Engineer: Someone who gets paid for reading these type of e-mails.


.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Bake Sale

Molly was to bake a cake for the church ladies' group bake sale, but she forgot to do it until the last minute.

She baked an angel food cake and when she took it from the oven, the center had dropped flat.

She said, "Oh dear, there's no time to bake another cake."

So, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake.

Molly found it in the bathroom - a roll of toilet paper.

She plunked it in and covered it with icing and few strawberries.

The finished product looked beautiful, so she rushed it to the church. Before she left the house, Molly had given her daughter some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the minute it opened, and to buy that cake and bring it home.

When the daughter arrived at the sale, the attractive cake had already been sold.

Molly was beside herself.

The next day, Molly was invited to a friend's home where two tables of bridge were to be played that afternoon.

After the game, a fancy lunch was served, and to top it off, the cake in question was presented for dessert.

Molly saw the cake, she started to get out of her chair to rush into the kitchen to tell her hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, one of the other ladies said, "What a beautiful cake!"

Molly sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say,

"Thank you, I baked it myself."



These prominent church ladies!!!

Pound of butter

Once there was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court. The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure.

The farmer replied, "Your honor, I am primitive. I don't have a proper measure, but I do have a scale."

The judge asked, "Then how do you weigh the butter?"

The farmer replied "Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker."

Moral: We get back in life what we give to others.



.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Just Checkin’ In

A minister passing through his church in the middle of the day,
Decided to pause by the altar and see who had come to pray.

Just then the back door opened, a man came down the aisle,
The minister frowned as he saw the man hadn’t shaved in awhile.

His shirt was kinda’ shabby and his coat was worn and frayed.
The man knelt, he bowed his head, then rose and walked away.

In the days that followed, each noon time came this chap,
Each time he knelt just for a moment, a lunch pail in his lap.

Well, the minister’s suspicions grew, with robbery a main fear,
He decided to stop the man and ask him, “Watcha’ doin’ here?”

The old man, he worked down the road. Lunch was half an hour.
Lunchtime was his prayer time, for finding strength and power.

“I stay only moments, see, ’cause the factory is so far away;
As I kneel here talking’ to the Lord, this is kinda’ what I say:

“I just came again to tell you, Lord how happy I’ve been,
Since we found each other’s friendship and you took away my sin.

I don’t know much of how to pray, but I think about you everyday.
So, Jesus, this is Jim checkin’ in.”

The minister feeling foolish, told Jim that was fine.
He told the man he was welcome to come and pray just anytime.

Time to go, Jim smiled, said “Thanks.” He hurried to the door.
The minister knelt at the altar; he’d never done it before.

His cold heart melted, warmed with love, met with Jesus there.
As the tears flowed, in his heart, he repeated old Jim’s prayer:

“I just came again to tell you, Lord how happy I’ve been,
Since we found each other’s friendship and you took away my sin.

I don’t know much of how to pray, but I think about you everyday.
So, Jesus, this is me checkin’ in.”

Past noon one day, the minister noticed that old Jim hadn’t come.
As more days passed with out Jim, he began to worry some.

At the factory, he asked about him, learning he was ill.
The hospital staff was worried, but he’d given them a thrill.

The week that Jim was with them, brought changes in the ward.
His smiles, a joy contagious. Changed people, his reward.

The head nurse couldn’t understand why Jim was so glad,
When no flowers, calls or cards came, not a visitor he had.

The minister stayed by his bed, he voiced the nurse’s concern:
No friends came to show they cared. He had nowhere to turn.

Looking surprised, old Jim spoke up and with a winsome smile;
“The nurse is wrong, she couldn’t know, that all the while

Everyday at noon He’s here, a dear friend of mine, you see,
He sits right down, takes my hand, leans over and says to me:

“I just came again to tell you, Jim, how happy I’ve been,
Since we found each other’s friendship and I took away your sin.

I always love to hear you pray, and I think about you everyday.
So, Jim, this is Jesus checkin’ in.”

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Drops

Drop a pebble in the water: just a splash, and it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,
Spreading, spreading from the center, flowing on out to the sea.
And there is no way of telling where the end is going to be.

Drop a pebble in the water: in a minute you forget,
But there's little waves a-flowing, and there's ripples circling yet,
And those little waves a-flowing to a great big wave have grown;
You've disturbed a mighty river just by dropping in a stone.

Drop an unkind word, or careless: in a minute it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on.
They keep spreading, spreading, spreading from the center as they go,
And there is no way to stop them, once you've started them to flow.

Drop an unkind word, or careless: in a minute you forget;
But there's little waves a-flowing, and there's ripples circling yet,
And perhaps in some sad heart a mighty wave of tears you've stirred,
And disturbed a life was happy ere you dropped that unkind word.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness: just a flash and it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,
Bearing hope and joy and comfort on each splashing, dashing wave
Till you wouldn't believe the volume of the one kind word you gave.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness: in a minute you forget;
But there's gladness still a-swelling, and there's joy acircling yet,
And you've rolled a wave of comfort whose sweet music can be heard
Over miles and miles of water just by dropping one kind word.

.
Credits: James Foley

Take time

1. Take time to dream - it hitches your soul to the stars.

2. Take time to work either at home or office - it is the price of success.

3. Take time to think - it is the source of power.

4. Take time to play - it is the secret of youth.

5. Take time to read - it is the foundation of knowledge.

6. Take time to worship - it is the highway of reverence and washes the dust of earth from your eyes.

7. Take time to laugh - it helps with life's loads.

8. Take time for health - it is the true treasure of life.

9. Take time for friends - they are the source of happiness.

10. Take time to love - it is the source of joy.

.

Pharma

I had the opportunity to visit a pharmaceutical production center today.  I was at the production facility where they manufacture tablets and capsules.  It's interesting to see how carefully they manufacture tablets and capsules.

In order for me to make intelligent and sensible recommendations to this company, I first have to learn how they operate, and talk their language.  Therefore, I took a tour of the facility, right from where chemicals arrive at the facility, and saw the following things first hand:
- how they order and receive chemicals,
- how they are delivered at the facility in bulk,
- how the chemicals get moved from one place to another,
- the process they use to mix it,
- the procedure they follow to make it into tablets,
- the process of coloring tablets,
- how they write the name on the actual tablets (either by compression or by print),
- how they count and weight them,
- why they add cotton inside the bottle,
- how they label the bottle,
- how they add documentation about the medicine,
- how they ship it to the central warehouse,
- how they handle returned tablets (expired ones),
- how they account for the samples for physicians, medicines,
- how they handle controlled substances,
- the security measures used to control unauthorized access, etc.

I learned today that the cotton inside the medicine bottle is to prevent the tablets from moving around within the bottle. I thought it was to absorb the moisture (and was wrong).

Now, I know a lot more about tablets and can (hopefully) advice them in a better way.

If you get a chance to visit such a facility, make the best use of it.

.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Guardian Angel


Time flies by, Each and every day,
So much to do, So much to say,
Never have time, To thank the ones I love,
The people in my life, The people I think that are sent from above,

Never really stopped to say, How much they all mean to me,
How much I love them, How they all set my soul free,
Not a word of thanks, Did they ever hear from me,
And for that, I'm so sorry,

I love you all so much, And my words to you are true,
From the bottom of my heart, I wanna thank you,
Thank you all for being there, When I needed you the most,
Thank you for caring for me, And all the love you show,

Thank you for all the tears you dried, And for mending my heart,
Thank you for putting my heart back together, When it was ripped apart,
Thank you for all that you have done, For all the kind words you say,
Thank you for helping me, And brighting up my days.

.

Different world

Looking at the bright side of today, I was able to get some work done.  At the airport, the internet connection was limited; so was the flight.  So, we got some work done at the airport, the flight, and even during our one hour drive.  The bright side I mentioned was 'limited internet connection'.  Due to security restrictions, I was unable to connect my company laptop from outside location.

When we figured there was no way we could get online, we reverted to the traditional way - used paper and pen to write down things and draw diagrams.  It seemed like we were working in a different world altogether.  Regardless, our intention to get some work done against all odds worked.  We were making progress and focusing on solving our problems.

We arrived at the rental car location to find out they did not have any GPS.  Fortunately, I had taken printouts of directions and that came handy.  Another lesson - have back up plans.

Finally arrived here in Seymour, IN at 7:00 PM and finished dinner.  Feel like I did something, despite the circumstances not being completely favorable - but that's a learning lesson too.

Airport wait

A woman went to the airport for a flight to Omaha. She joined the long line at the security checkpoint for Concourse B, and waited. By the time she reached the head of the line, it was clear that she would miss her flight if it took off as scheduled.

The guard took a look at her ticket, and said, "I'm sorry. You've got a problem here."

"Yes," she sighed. "It looks like I won't make this flight to Omaha."

"No," the guard explained. "This is the line for missing the flight to Houston. The line for missing your flight to Omaha is at Concourse C."

Dear Readers,

Hope all of you had a relaxing weekend and are charged up for the week.

I am out for of town for the next few days on a business trip. I shall do my best to post during that period.

My 12:50 PM flight is now scheduld to take off around 3:00 PM. This time, the Captain has not arrived yet. Our captiain is still in Memphis, TN and is on his way to Atlanta to fly this plane. Right now, I am sitting at the airport and catching up on my work. If this was a regular trip, I would have enjoyed the wait (looking around), but this wait is no fun. I am starting to get a headache, and feeling bit tired. These airport waits are horrible!!

.

Gods children and our children

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God had trouble with His kids. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam. The first thing He said to Adam was:

"Don't eat from the forbidden fruit in the middle of the garden".

"Forbidden fruit? Adam inquired.

"Yes, you may eat of all the fruit in the garden except from the tree in the middle of the garden."

We got forbidden fruit!

So then God created Eve

One of Adam's first conversations with Eve (not recorded in the Bible) follows:

"Hey, Eve...we got forbidden fruit!"

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Father and I know it won't be good for you!" said God. A few minutes later God saw the telltale sign of apple cores on the ground.

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" the First Parent asked.

"I didn't do it," said Adam

"Not me," said Eve

"Then where did these apple cores come from?" asked God.

"We both did it," Adam admitted.

"Then why did you?"

"I dunno" Eve answered.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!! It was the snake's fault."

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed.

But there is reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give your children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God's first children were disobedient, what makes you think yours won't be?

Food for thought: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two and keep away from children.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Wish list of men

Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.

Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

.

Wish list of girls

Don't always expect us to call you.. The phone works both ways!! You know the drill!!

Don't ever lie to us, we always find out.

Birthdays, V-day, & Anniversaries are important to us... Can't you remember three important dates out of the whole year!? We remember them.. Why can't you!?

Don't say you understand when you don't.

Girls are petty, get over it.

Sweet talk will always get you off the hook.

We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big; we like it when you are Mr. Big.

"Hanging out with the guys" can not consume all your time!! We need time too!!

You can come shopping with us!! We would do it for you! So don't complain the whole time!!!

A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.

It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.

If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.

Be spontaneous, dinner and a movie won't always cut it.

We are self-conscious by nature, we can't help it.

We are drama queens.

Fashion police do exist.

If our shoes aren't exactly the right shade someone will notice.

Talk about your feelings sometimes... it helps A LOT!!

We absolutely do not care about monster trucks, car systems, paintball or anything else you and your friends talk about.

Don't make bets about us, we always find out.

It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.

We are beautiful, but make-up helps.

We will always think we are fat so humor us and tell us we aren't.

Most importantly- we are always right- so don't forget it.

.