Saturday, July 10, 2010
Over dinner, five surgeons were discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.
The first surgeon said, “I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”
The second responded, “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.”
The third surgeon added, “No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”
“You know,” the fourth surgeon chimed in, “I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.”
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: “You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. Most have no guts, no hearts, and no spines, and most of their parts are interchangeable.”
We went out fishing (again) early this morning, and maxed our quota (24) by noon. The largest we caught was a 14 incher. Also, there were so many others fishing today. Today I was assisting my fishing team members (wife and son) cast their lines.
While returning home, one question we were pondering on - what will we do with all these fishes? The most logical answer: we will share it with our good friends.
Friday, July 9, 2010
If fish lived on land, which country would they live in?
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut its nose off.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.
Where do fish keep their money?
In the river bank.
What fish are musical?
What fish is most valuable?
Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
They have their own scales.
What's the easiest way to catch fish?
Have someone throw it at you.
What kind of money do fishermen make?
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?
Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!
Fishing is an interesting sport - especially if one can figure out the mechanics behind it. To catch a fish, you need to think like a fish. If weather permits, we may head out tomorrow (again) to cast a line (and to work on our summer tan). Here are few terms related to fishing.
Caviar Emptor – Beware of the fish.
Carp Diem – Seize the fish.
Veni, Vidi, Fishy – I came, I saw, I fished.
Cod Erat Demonstrandum – Proving the fish.
Squid pro quo – Done a fishy deal.
Tempus Fish-it – Time flies when you’re fishing.
Prima Fishy – First fish.
The true test in life does not occur when all is going well. The true test takes place when we are faced with challenges. Some people have a positive attitude towards life only when all is well. However, when the going gets tough, their attitude changes instantly, and they become very negative or are consumed with self pity.
"I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom." - said George S. Patton.
Be conscious of your attitude. Work extra hard at keeping your attitude positive in all kinds of weather, through all the challenges of life.
Here is something to think about, a quote by Norman Vincent Peale:
"Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude towards it, for that determines our success or our failure."
Credits: C. Pulsifer
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Fishing buddies Joe and Tom rented a boat and fished in a lake every day.
One day they caught 30 fish, and while reeling in their last catch, Joe told Tom, "Mark this here spot so that we can come back right here again tomorrow."
The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, Joe asked Tom, "Tom, did you mark yesterday's spot like I told you yesterday?"
His friend replied, "Doubt not pal, I marked a big 'X' on the bottom of that boat, using a permanent marker."
"You stupid fool!" replied Joe, "Now, what are we gonna do if we don't get that same boat today?!"
In order for people to be happy in their work, three elements are necessary:
1. they must be fit for it;
2. they must not do too much of it;
3. they must have a sense of success in it - not a doubtful sense, such as needs some testimony of other people for its confirmation, but a sure sense, or rather knowledge, that so much work has been done well, and fruitfully done, whatever the world may say or think about it.
Credits: J. Ruskin
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Fact 1: As each goose flaps its wings it creates an "uplift" for the birds that follow. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew alone.
Lesson 1: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.
Fact 2: When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front of it.
Lesson 2: If we have as much common sense as a goose, we stay in formation with those headed where we want to go. We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others.
Fact 3: When the lead goose tires, it rotates back into the formation and another goose flies to the point position.
Lesson 3: It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership. As with geese, people are interdependent on each others' skills, capabilities, and unique arrangements of gifts, talents, or resources.
Fact 4: Geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.
Lesson 4: We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups where there is encouragement, the production is much greater. The power of encouragement (to stand by one's heart or core values and encourage the heart and core of others) is the quality of honking we seek.
Fact 5: When a goose gets sick, wounded, or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it down to help protect it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly again. Then, they launch out with another formation or catch up with the flock.
Lesson 5: If we have as much sense as geese, we will stand by each other in difficult times as well as when we are strong.
Credits: Christine Hill
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
In the above picture taken on Monday, July 5, 2010, a highway worker sweeps euro coins after a truck carrying some €2 million ($2.5 million) in coins overturned in Foggia, southern Italy, unloading its contents onto the highway and leading motorists to hit the brakes and dig in.
It wasn't exactly pennies from heaven but it was perhaps the next best thing: a truck carrying 2.5 million euros in coins overturned on a highway in southern Italy and motorists picked up the money like mushrooms.
In the accident, the truck's rear door popped open and what followed must have seemed like a massive slot machine win.
Before police arrived, motorists stopped their cars and made off with about 10,000 euros in one and two euro coins being transported from the Italian mint to local banks.
One called it "The miracle of the coins."
Police said Tuesday that it was impossible to establish how much money had been stolen, as many of the €1 and €2 coins remain on the highway.
Credits:Yahoo News, Boston Globe.
Research has lead to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since every reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Credits: Scientific Journal of America
A necessary skill for achieving that which you desire in your life is the ability to give the task at hand that one last go around. Often it is a matter of looking near defeat in the face, and just plain moving forward in spite of all the difficulties you're faced with!
Life has an incredible way of working out the details of our difficulties when we choose not to give up. Call it one of life's little mysteries. Personally, I call it my faith in action. Whatever you call it, it's one of your greatest allies in achievement.
So no matter what comes your way today,
or next year for that matter
understand that you have in you
what it takes to overcome it.
Monday, July 5, 2010
A young boy who did not know swimming very well, was playing at the beach and was carried away by the tidal waves.
A man risked his life by swimming through the treacherous riptide to save the youngster being swept out to sea.
After the child recovered from the harrowing experience, he said to the man, "Thank you for saving my life.
The man looked into the little boy's eyes and said, "That's okay, kid. Just make sure your life was worth saving."
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
Yeah, it cracked me up!
What did one flag say to the other flag?
Nothing. It just waved!
What dance was very popular in 1776?
What march would you play at a jungle parade?
“Tarzan Stripes Forever”!
Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?
Because they’re both cracked!