Saturday, October 17, 2009

Solved: Fruits

In a contest held at a farm, four fruits (an apple, a banana, an orange, and a pear) were placed in four closed boxes (one fruit per box). People may guess which fruit is in which box. 123 people participated in the contest. When the boxes were opened, it turns out that 43 people guessed none of the fruits correctly, 39 people  guessed one fruit correctly, and 31 people have guessed two fruits correctly.


The Question: How many people guessed three fruits correctly, and how many people have guessed four fruits correctly?


The Answer, based on above data: 
# of people participated in the fruit contest = 123
# of people who guessed none of the fruits correctly = 43
# of people who guessed one fruit correctly = 39
# of people who guessed two fruits correctly = 31
# of people who guessed three fruits correctly = 10
# of people who guessed four fruits correctly = 10


Here is how we got the answer: 
123 - (43 + 39 + 31) = 10


If a person guessed three fruits correctly, then that person WILL guess the fourth fruit correctly as well.  

Work definitions

Few definitions of words used at work:

Net Lag = That glazed look when you have been online for too long.

Open-Collar Workers = People who work from home or telecommute.

Stress puppy = A person who thrives on being stressed-out and whiny.

Keyboard Plaque = The disgusting buildup of dirt and yogurt found on a computer keyboard.

Idea hamsters = People who always seem to have their idea generators running.

Mouse potato = The on-line generation's answer to the couch potato.

Blamestorming = Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

Under Mouse Arrest: Getting busted for violating the company’s web browsing rule of conduct.

Mission critical = We are stuffed if this one fails!

Salmon Day = The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end.

Chainsaw consultant = An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top management with clean hands.

404 = Someone who is clueless, from the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found", meaning the requested document couldn't be located.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Solved: helping the neighbor



Here is how the 17 year boy solved his neighbor's problem that was posted last Wednesday.

The boy went home, got one sheep from his home and gave it to his neighbor.  The total count now became 17 + 1 = 18.  The boy now carefully divided the sheep according to their father's will.

The oldest son got 1/2 = 9 sheep;
the middle son got 1/3 = 6 sheep;
the youngest son got 1/9 = 2 sheep.

9  + 6 + 2 = 17.

After solving the neighbor's problem, the boy took his sheep home.

The 3 brothers were impressed by the boy's wit.  When asked how he learned to solve such problems, the boy said, "SAT preparation helped me to think and solve similar problems.".

After a brief discussion, the 3 brothers said, "We want to take SAT as well.  Can you tell us the next exam dates?"

The boy happily passed on the the exam dates for 2009 - 10 (below) to the 3 brothers and wished them good luck.



2009-10
Test Dates
Test
Regular Registration Deadline
(postmark/submit by)
October 10, 2009
SAT & Subject Tests
September 9, 2009
November 7, 2009
SAT & Subject Tests
October 1, 2009
December 5, 2009
SAT & Subject Tests
October 31, 2009
January 23, 2010
SAT & Subject Tests
December 15, 2009
March 13, 2010
SAT only
February 4, 2010
May 1, 2010
SAT & Subject Tests
March 25, 2010
June 5, 2010
SAT & Subject Tests
April 29, 2010

Slangs from work.

Welcome to my world of IT Consulting.  At work, I advice companies about how and what they should be doing, to solve an IT related problem.  Another name for my line of work is a 'problem solver'.  While solving problems, I have to talk and interview people at various levels; both upper management and the worker bees.  There are numerous slangs we use at work, which I thought of introducing to you, so that if I use any of it during a conversation, you know what exactly I am talking about.

Slangs:
Average Employee = Not too bright

Exceptionally Well Qualified = Has made no major blunders yet

Active Socially = Drinks a lot

Character Above Reproach = Still one step ahead of the law

Quick Thinking = Offers plausible excuses

Careful Thinker = Won't make a decision

Plans for advancement = Buys drinks for all the boys/girls

Uses Logic on Difficult jobs = Gets someone else to do it

Expresses Themselves Well = Speaks English

Meticulous Attention to Detail = A nit picker

Exceptionally Good Judgment = Lucky

Keen Sense of Humor = Knows a lot of dirty jokes

Career Minded = Back Stabber

Of Great Value to the Organisation = Gets to work on time

Relaxed Attitude = Sleeps at desk

Independent Worker = Nobody knows what he/she does

Loyal = Can't get a job anywhere else

Has Leadership Qualities = Has a loud voice

To get a complete picture, you need to relate these slangs to someone you know in your own circle. That's when you'll start getting it.

... and the definitions to be posted tomorrow.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Kids say

From the mouths of elementary kids:

Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."

"H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."

"Blood flows down one leg and up the other."

"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."

"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."

"The body consists of three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains
the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five: a, e, i, o and u."

"Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."

"Planet: A body of earth surrounded by sky."

"Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot."

"Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."

"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."

"For a nosebleed: put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops."

"For Fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head
between the knees of the nearest medical doctor."

"For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it."

"For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead."

"For headcold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat."

"To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow."

"The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."

"The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."

"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."

"The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."

"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."

"Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."

"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The animal



What do you call the animal in the above picture?  Based on what we learned at school, we would call it a zebra. If you answered something else, your elementary school teacher would have said your answer was wrong.

In Palestine there is a place called Gaza, which has a small zoo.  The children there have never seen a zebra.  So the zoo officials came up with an ingenious idea of making zebras out of donkeys.  Two white donkeys were dyed with black stripes to make them look like zebras.

With the aid of masking tape, paint brush and women's hair dye, the two donkeys were made to look like zebras which even fooled the lions, tigers and the children.  The children were so happy to see the new animal.

Price was an important factor in adopting this idea.  A genuine zebra would have cost the small zoo nearly $40,000, and they probably created a zebra by spending under $40.

Children are flocking into the zoo to see the new creatures.

Now think twice before you name an animal.  In today's global world, you should be smart enough to look at the features of this animal such as drooping heads, long ears and sleeping eyes and call it a donkey with a dye-job.

Now, below is how an original zebra looks like, without any make up.





Credits: Yahoo news

Sentence completion

A first grade teacher gave the following sentences to her students to complete.

Don't change horses until ________.
Strike while the ________.
It's always darkest before ________.
Never underestimate the power of ________.
You can lead a horse to water but ________.
Don't bite the hand that ________.
No news is ________.
A miss is as good as a ________.
You can't teach an old dog new ________.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll ________.
Love all, trust ________.
The pen is mightier than the ________.
An idle mind is ________.
Where there's smoke there's ________.
Happy the bride who ________.
A penny saved is ________.
Two's company, three's ________.
Don't put off till tomorrow what you ________.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and ________.
There are none so blind as ________.
Children should be seen and ________.
If at first you don't succeed ________.
When the blind lead the blind ________.
A bird in the hand is ________.

This is what the class came up with:

Don't change horses until they stop running.
Strike while the bug is close.
It's always darkest before Daylight Saving Time.
Never underestimate the power of termites.
You can lead a horse to water but How?
Don't bite the hand that looks dirty.
No news is impossible
A miss is as good as a Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new Math
If you lie down with dogs, you'll stink in the morning.
Love all, trust Me.
The pen is mightier than the pigs.
An idle mind is the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke there's pollution.
Happy the bride who gets all the presents.
A penny saved is not much.
Two's company, three's the Musketeers.
Don't put off till tomorrow what you put on to go to bed.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and You have to blow your nose.
There are none so blind as Stevie Wonder.
Children should be seen and not spanked or grounded.
If at first you don't succeed get new batteries.
When the blind lead the blind get out of the way.
A bird in the hand is going to poop on you.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Oct 11

We did not have a class yesterday.  Just like we anticipated, you had an extended general session and the 'parent - teacher meeting' went on for quite some time.

I observed almost all parents from our class attend the meeting - it's a good sign.  The 80% rule that we talked about in the class is now 'out of the window'.  Various other things were discussed, which we'll talk in our next class.

What about those of you who have not yet turned in your BRS # 2?  Did anyone bring in and not turn in - let me know.

Life lessons from an elder

Below are some life lessons from an elderly person:

I’ve learned…that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it spins.

I’ve learned…that the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I’ve learned…that having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I’ve learned…that you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I’ve learned…that I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.

I’ve learned…that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I’ve learned…that sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I’ve learned…that we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.

I’ve learned…that it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I’ve learned…that under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I’ve learned…that the Lord didn’t do it all in one day — what makes me think I can?

I’ve learned…that love, not time, heals all wounds.

I’ve learned…that you can make some one’s day by simply sending them a little note, a phone call or email.

I’ve learned…that you can tell a lot about a man by how he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I’ve learned…that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.

I’ve learned…that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.”

I’ve learned…that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I’ve learned…that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love human touches — holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back

Qualification

A high school class was discussing the qualifications to be president of the United States. It was pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age. However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president.

The teacher and the class were just taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone’s jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating …“What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by c-section?”

Looking pretty



A Little girl walked daily to and from school.

Though the weather that morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made her daily trek to the elementary school, wearing her favorite blue dress. As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning.

The mother of the little girl felt concerned that her daughter would be frightened as she walked home from school, and she herself feared that the electrical storm might harm her child.

Following the roar of thunder, lightning, like a flaming sword would cut through the sky. Full of concern, the mother quickly got into her car and drove along the route to her child's school. As she did so, she saw her little girl walking along, but at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up and smile. The mother could see the girl wearing blue being fully radiant with joy.  Another lightning followed, and again the girl stopped, looked up and smiled.  Again, another lightning appeared, the girl once again stood still, looked up and smiled.  This procedure of stopping and smiling followed with every streak of lightning.

When the mother's car drew up beside the child she lowered the window and called to her, "What are you doing? Why do you keep stopping?

The child answered, "I am trying to look pretty, God keeps taking my picture!"