Saturday, May 2, 2009
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says,’The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that.
Anyway, God said, ‘Give me a light!’ and someone did. Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren’t embarrassed because mirrors hadn’t been invented yet.
Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn’t have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh’s people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti.
Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don’t lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor’s stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.
One of Moses’ best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a sling shot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn’t sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets.
One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don’t have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, ‘Close the door! Were you born in a barn?’ It would be nice to say, ‘As a matter of fact, I was.’)
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn’t stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is fore told in the book of Revolution.
Credits: Found this article online
Friday, May 1, 2009
Have you ever wondered where you saved one particular file on your computer? I sometimes run into such situations. Here is the good news - google provides a tool called 'Google Desktop' to search all your files on your computer. It does it using the same technology when it searches internet websites, and is fast too. You can install it by clicking here.
Below is what wikipedia says about Google Desktop:
After initially installing Google Desktop, the software completes an indexing of all the files in the computer. And after the initial indexing is completed, the software continues to index files as needed. Users can start searching for files immediately after installing the program. After performing searches, results can also be returned in an Internet browser on the Google Desktop Home Page much like the results for Google Web searches.
Google Desktop can index several different types of data, including email, web browsing history from Internet Explorer and Mozilla Firefox, office documents in the OpenDocument and Microsoft Office formats, instant messenger transcripts from AOL, Google, MSN, Skype, Tencent QQ, and several multimedia file types. Additional file types can be indexed through the use of plug-ins. Google Desktop allows the user to control which types of data are indexed by the program.
Try it - you'll like it.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
I, personally, learned a great a deal of things this past year, teaching Sunday school. I had to always prepare myself for the lectures, research a lot, and kept myself on top of the schedule and activities and priorities that were set forth.
Some of the things I learned teaching the G-8 are the following:
Prepare my lessons in detail - students want to learn Christian values and it's practical applicability. For this reason, I should tailor my class to include real life scenarios and examples.
Students appreciate a well prepared lecture and listen fully. These lessons are going to remain in their minds for years to come. Therefore, I should pick my words carefully.
Students can have some bad days sometimes. This could be attributed to lack of sleep, a small trouble at home, or a seasonal temporary change. I learned that I should work around this and give them a second, third, fourth, or even fifth chance to improve.
Teaching Sunday school is similar to preaching. The common denominator between the two are preparation, word of God, and the day - Sunday. While the audience is far less in a Sunday school, the impact of those lectures have long lasting results. For example, a Sunday school teacher can have lot more influence in building one's christian beliefs in a classroom setup than a sermon heard at a Church service.
Being flexible is the way to go - I have sometimes come prepared to deliver a particular lecture, when a student asks me a question, and I have to go on a different tangent to answer that question. For this reason, being flexible and addressing that specific question improves the general health of the class.
If one student has a particular question, several others could have similar questions too. They may sometimes be shy to ask a 'silly question'. Hence, I should address the question with proper attention and answer until the student is fully satisfied.
I should show up for all classes to teach. I would never know when a student is coming to my class with the intention of fully listening to what is being taught. It could turn out that a student is absorbing everything that is taught on a particular day. I should be there for them on that day to mentor them.
I should provide them with the tools and insights I have learned, to lead a good life. My goal was never to teach the G-8 to make a lot of money; instead to lead a good christian life where they have adequte money to support their family when they grow up.
A little care and offering a helping hand motivates the students to complete their assignments on time. Sometimes, under special circumstances, the assignments may not be straight forward, and thus I should try to solve those problems prior to asking them to solve it.
Students like the hear the same story over and over again. Each time, various parts of the story register in their mind, with better clarity.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Flat front dress pants are back
If you have recently been to a department store, you'll notice the variety of flat front dress pants compared to pleated pants. Well, the flat front pants are back in fashion after a while.
Pick tie according to the shirt
Wearing a similar color tie with that of the shirt is sort of 'old'. The tie should be of a different color than that of the shirt. Diagonal striped ties are classic ones, and always in fashion. Never wear clip on ties for interviews.
Wear matching belt to your dress shoes
If you are wearing black shoes, wear a black belt to go with it; a pair of brown shoes goes well with brown belt. The idea is that the belt and shoes are the two leather items used by men, and they go well together.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Here is little encouragement for all of us:
Ecclesiastes 9:10: “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might.” Once we start doing a task, never leave it incomplete until it is fully done; whether it is a tiny or a mighty project, give it your best shot, so that you never look back and say, "I could have done it better."
1 Chronicles 28:20: “Be strong and courageous, and act: do not fear nor be dismayed, for the Lord God, my God, is with you.” Believe it or not: every single dream we have, can come true – if we have the courage, will power and patience to pursue that dream.
Below are some options I am considering:
(a) Continue posting information the way we are
(b) Continue posting information with more content
(c) Stop posting further information and leave it the way it is
(d) Stop posting further information and delete all existing posts
Any ideas/suggestions from you readers?
For example, one such question I received is, "Getting angry is not a good thing. Then why did Jesus Christ get angry inside the temple when he saw the moneychangers?"
The class will be very brief and I need to head out soon after that.
First of all, orthodoxy is a legacy that was started by the apostles and is passed down generation after generation, without any alteration to the original set of christian doctrines.
By putting on those orthodox spectacles, we viewed our Church Architecture, the Altar, the Domes, the Cross, Symols, Icons, Baptism, Holy Bible, Holy Qurbana, St. Mary, Saints, Departed Souls, Heven and Hell, etc. Very briefly, we also viewed the orthodox belief on marriage, and the orthodox view on issues such as abortion.
I hope the class was a meaningful one for you, and I tried my best to make it simple to understand and remember.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Have you heard the term Phishing?
The term is a variant of fishing, and is similar to those baits used to obtain financial information and passwords from your computer. In the internet world, phishing is a criminally fraudulent process of attempting to acquire sensitive information such as usernames, passwords and credit card details by posing as a trustworthy entity via e-mail, instant messaging, advertisements etc. Usually, it asks users to enter details at a fake website whose look and feel are almost identical to the legitimate one.
Here is a good reason to play an online game. Carnige Mellon University has set up an online game for kids to teach about phishing. Click here to start playing the online game 'Anti-Phishing Phil'. Once you play the game, educate your parents and feel free to forward the link to your friends as well.
After the game, you'll become an 'Anti-Phishing Expert'. I liked it!!
President Obama is having a dialogue with the credit card companies not to do this in the future - which hopefully comes into law July 2010. Also, they are making sure people get credit limit on their cards within their means of income. The idea is that people do not go for these large purchases and finally land into financial trouble.
This is a good piece of news for you youngsters. You will not get into mess how we currently are. Let's expect your generation to live within your means - i.e., if you earn $100,000 a year, you spend less than that amount every year, and think about saving some $$$ for the future!!
1. Go to the website (click here)
2. On the left, click on 'Register a Phone Number'
3. Fill in your home phone number (plus additional ones), an email address and click 'submit'
4. Open your email address and verify the request.
It takes approximately 30 days for your number to appear on all those telemarketers' list. But, it is worth the effort.